


F/GO: Soft Headcanons

by Alegrya



Category: Fate/Apocrypha, Fate/EXTRA, Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Prototype: Fragments of Sky Silver, Fate/Zero, Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ILLYA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alegrya/pseuds/Alegrya
Summary: Just some soft headcanons of the eccentric and eclectic servants in Chaldea.
Kudos: 49





	F/GO: Soft Headcanons

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, I'm a gacha hoe. I made this a long time ago so some of the newer servants aren't included and there are definitely some that aren't as accurate or as detailed as I would like them to be. Depending on how nicely F/GO treats me there may or may not be more in the future.

Soft FGO Concepts!

  1. The Emiya family having a picnic, or going out to the beach, or to the amusement park. 
  2. Gil and Enkidu going to a museum (Enkidu's choice) and Gilgamesh tries to avoid scoffing because it would make Enkidu sad. Gilgamesh is lowkey unimpressed at the museum artifacts because he has literally all the world’s treasures in his Gate of Babylon, but tries his best to have a good time. The only time Gil gets excited is when they find a relief statue of Gilgamesh himself. Gil absolutely has to take a selfie with it and doesn’t stop bragging about what a great king he is until Enkidu reminds him that Babylon was totally out of control during his rule and that’s why Enkidu even exists at all. Gil gets angry and starts pouting, in which Enkidu decides to take him go-kart racing to calm him down. Despite Gilgamesh complaining that it's an "activity for mongrels", he enjoys it. A LOT
  3. Diarmuid, Cu, and Scathach sparring then taking a break and having a picnic under the shade of apple trees.
  4. Jeanne and Saber Gilles coming back from a battle and Jeanne smiles and thanks him! Gilles cries in happiness.
  5. Shakespeare gathering servants to perform a little play for the kids :)
  6. Or the reverse, in which the children make a play to perform for Shakespeare and the other servants. Nursery Rhyme is great at storytelling (obviously, because she’s a book) and always creates fun plots for the rest of the kids to act out. Chloe, though she might not look like it, is quite good at writing the lines, so she helps to make the script. The other kids try their best to know their lines, act properly in character, and they have a lot of fun doing it. Jeanne Alter Santa Lily and Illya are in charge of the costumes, while Abigail, Jack and Paul work on the props. They meet to practice every other day. On the night of the play, all the servants come to watch and they adore them the whole time (except the alters, who find it cute but try to play it off as uninterested). Jeanne is so proud of her little sister and takes so many pictures along with the rest of the Chaldea moms (Irisviel (who gets so excited she tries to invite everyone she can, including Kiritsugu, although being a good dad, Kiritsugu would willingly come anyway), Raikou, Atalanta, Scathach, even EMIYA, though begrudgingly at first). 
  7. Chaldea baking competition! Emiya, Tamamo Cat, and Raikou are naturals, but face unexpected competition from determined Bryn (who wants to be a good wife to Sigurd), Mordred (wants to make dad proud). Sometimes the kids come in and watch, occasionally they’re even allowed to help. They always know when something’s baking and always call being first to taste test. Artoria also basically LIVES in the kitchen, she gets almost as excited about free food as the kids. Sometimes the chefs have to send her out with Master to farm in order to make her stop eating the food. On a bad day, Salter will sneak in through the window or ceiling or drainpipe or WHATEVER and grab as much food as she can and HIGHTAIL TF OUTTA THERE as the chefs chuck their wooden spoons and whisks jokingly at her. Seriously though, keep all the saber faces out of the kitchen if you’re hoping for anything to eat later. 
  8. Enkidu and Nefertari going on a platonic shopping date for a Gilkidu and Ozytari double date later on in the week while Gil and Ozy hightail it to the go-kart track Gil commissioned in his mansion because "oh my God broski you NEED to try it"
  9. Servants trying out different class roles! For example, a clumsy assassin Cu, awkward Zhuge saber, happy Illya rider on Medusa's Pegasus etc. 
  10. Weekly Berserker Meetups: Servants that scream incomprehensibly like Lu Bu, Berserkerlot, Heracles, etc. have basically afternoon tea every Thursday. No one can understand what they say but sometimes the kiddos will drop off a few flower crowns and other servants might send snacks or books :). Basically the world's most unexpected but surprisingly helpful support group.
  11. Meeting idols. For example, mega-nerds like Waver literally TREMBLING before Shakespeare because "Rider can you BELIEVE that I MET SHAKESPEARE??? HOW COULD THEY MAKE HIM ONLY A 2 STAR??? BUT HE'S A LEGEND! THE PUNS AND EVERYTHING IS SO WELL CRAFTED I-" Musashi baffled and speechless but eventually very happy after meeting Nobu. Young Alexander completely FANGIRLING over Achilles (“OH MY GOD THAT’S THE HERO FROM MY FAVORITE BOOK!!!”) while Zhuge awkwardly stands by with Atalanta while Achilles and Alex race their chariots. 
  12. The edgy alters club. Meets at irregular times, but always at night. MHX Alter stealthily comes through the window, while Salter comes with Jalter, both toting large bags of junk food. Emiya alter sulks in and Cu always breaks either a wall or window when coming in (he never uses the door). Atalanta strolls in last. Okita sometimes comes late because she messed up the location AGAIN. They exchange new song recs and watch vine compilations. No one else is allowed EVER into their meetings. Except the kids of course. But that’s rarely the case because the kids are usually tired out from a good and productive day.
  13. If Waver and Iskandar and Gilgamesh and Enkidu all get summoned into the same Chaldea, Gil and Iskandar constantly try to outdo each other. They introduce each other to different king stuff, do crazy things for entertainment or get drunk and make messes all the heckin time. Because both of them are irresponsible, Waver and Enkidu are always left alone to clean up their messes. At first, Waver is scared of Enkidu (because how scary do you have to be to be best bros with the hecking KING OF HEROES? And what even is Enkidu? Is he even a person??? IS IT A HE AT ALL????). In order to learn about him, he checks out the Epic of Gilgamesh from the Chaldea library and reads up on him and Gilgamesh. It takes him several days of practicing what he wants to say, but one day when they’re cleaning up their bros’ latest mess, Enkidu approaches Waver and they talk, eventually becoming friends over the stupid stuff their bros (maybe more than bros owo) do. Weekly ranting/talking sessions ensue.
  14. IF Lancelot really is a puke-on-your-daughter/son’s-shoes and almost-hit-on-your-daughter kind of man (which I’m convinced he isn’t but still), one day he decides to shape up. Wakes up at the crack of dawn, busts out a vacuum, a pair of rubber gloves, and what’s left of his dignity and cleans the house. Halfway through, Gawain knocks and opens the door because “Yo, did you get drunk again because Arthur’s calling for a meeting and-MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CLEANING?” Lancelot tells him to shut up and either help or scat so Gawain sighs and closes the door and comes back later with the WHOLE ROUND TABLE SQUAD. Throughout the day, servants stop by and help out (kids bring a fresh vase of flowers here and there, Emiya bakes a cake, Tawara Touda brings a whole kettle full of rice etc. Mash and Master come back from a mission and Mash trudges home expecting to find dad passed out drunk on the couch again but opens the door to a vase of irises on a clean table, the dishes sparkling and clean in the cabinet, the floor spotless, her room exactly as she had left it (papalot had to defend the room from some...er...peeping toms). Lancelot’s nowhere to be found (he got dragged out by Gawain and Tristan to karaoke) but dinner is in the oven and on the table is a note with simply “Sorry.”
  15. The DreaMeme Team. An exclusive club headed by the Triumvirate: no, not Caesar, Nero yadayadayada. The TRUE Supremes: Merlin (Username: “Memelin”), Tristan (Username: notameme…), and...an undisclosed final member. They run a not-so-secret but only funny to an obscure few blog and make memes of Chaldea happenings. Duh. Basic requirements to be eligible for the application list include: memorization of at least 8 vines and an impressive resume. Participants are tested by being exposed to various situations and being asked to make witty references and remarks within 5 seconds of witnessing the event. With such strict regulations, no wonder there’s only a few memebers! Notable Failed Prospectives include: Shakespeare (surprising! Alas ‘twas the lack of vines knowledge), Cu (but he gets the honor to have at least one meme a day about him), Sumanai (his name was put in by Georgios as a prank), and Osakabehime (too weak-willed). It was really hard to start because Tristan had to become accustomed to these “memes” then educate OTHERS about them. Thankfully, servants learn quickly, so sometimes you can hear the odd “IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS” or “I WON’t HESITATE BITCH” or even “WHY AH YOU RUNNING”. Sometimes the other servants, even those who absolutely refuse to learn the memer way, accidentally make a meme reference
  16. The Chaldea Bulletin. The daily Chaldea newspaper! Da Vinci oversees operations but basically, anyone can submit an article. Shakespeare and Andersen proofread the submissions to make sure they’re appropriate and Babbage helped hammer out a faster printing press because it’s still made using the traditional method to preserve culture. There’s no newspaper boy because servants typically just pick them up on the way from their morning run and drop them off at each house. For example, if Cu planned to do it but he got mad drunk last night, Diarmuid might take over etc. The comic section includes popular requests for drawings by Edward Teach and King Hassan. There is no obituary section; it is instead replaced by a shoutout section which recognizes outstanding servants this week (for example: shoutout to Penthesilea for a solid carry today/to Mozart for a much-needed arts buff etc). Every so often the Bulletin hosts a writing competition or such, and some unexpected winners often turn up (Cu is surprisingly good at writing action novellas, Dantes’ tragedies give Shakespeare a run for his money etc.) Tesla, Edison, and Archimedes will occasionally submit some complex mathematical proofs while Holmes enters eloquent argumentative blurbs that are almost nearly always countered by an equally coy response from one “P. Harty” (moriPHARTY).
  17. Makeover Day/Prom Night/ULTIMATE Group Date Night: The sappily soft couples headcanon you’ve all been waiting for. Somehow, with the ingenious planning of Holmes and Da Vinci and Mash, the schedules for all the servants have been cleared for, say, next Saturday. A grand feast is planned! Attire ranges from Halloween themed to formal to preppy casual or anything, really. Everyone is invited to come with their partner (if they have one). Naturally, the kids are excited and can barely sleep the night before. In the morning, everyone (surprisingly) is up by 8:00 AM. Breakfast is wolfed down as the ladies, gents, and all in between and beyond head out to get a new outfit. Shimmery gowns, poofy skirts, elegant wares are all pulled out for display. Musashi and Nobu are spotted in Western formal wear and Carmilla has donned a kimono. Later, they have switched outfits again, and yet again. Penthesilea ditches a short skirt for a well-tailored navy jumpsuit while Artoria tries on a toga. The kids find a makeup counter and after a solid 2 hours emerge with very cute albeit not so great makeup. Tuxes are tailored and hair is styled. Gilgamesh doesn’t know Ozy styled his hair into a mohawk and Ozy doesn’t know Cu styled HIS into a braid. Oddly, Tristan has chosen to wear a neon yellow suit rather than his traditional black and Caesar is considering a more traditional wear. Some of the bulkier males rip quite a few tuxedos but not to worry, the economy can sustain it because the economy is literally infinite (Gil’s treasury). The kitchen is noisy today as Emiya, Tamamo, Raikou, and a few other helping hands struggle to prepare the feast in time. Shakespeare rehearses his opening speech to the event while Cu and Diarmuid recruit some buff servants to help organize the festivities hall. Enkidu is adding the finishing touches to the personalized gift bags for everyone and Waver is trying to convince Iskandar that white is not his color. With 5 hours left to go, Iskandar has ripped no less than 6 suits loaned from different servants (including Zhuge’s, for some reason) and everyone is trying to convince him to not go full commando. 




End file.
